I Turn 28 And I Ponder

The morning of my twenty eight birthday when I woke up next to a lovely man (My husband) and an adorable little baby sleeping in the cot in the room, I stared at the ceiling more than usual, I had turned 28 today, where was LIFE heading from here !!

I had achieved much in life almost everything I wanted to, married the love of my life, had a blast in the five years of my marriage before finally deciding on bringing a baby to this world, had a lovely little girl by the grace of god, a decent job, steady money, air in my lungs and food in my kitchen. But something was amiss still. So here I am writing down things I should have done if I could have done also many that I did not do because I was plain LAZY. Here in the list most of the things are those which still can be amended, let us see how many I can still work on.

–          Travelled More : Well this one tops my list for the simple reason that I wanted to go bagpacking, hiking, go solely to places, eat in the local cafe, interact with the locals, take pictures, make a scrapbook of my travels and many more things. Is it still workable, Let’s see I have life to sustain here, a little one and a half-year old to look after and certain family responsibilities, does not look very plausible at the moment but maybe SOMEDAY, finger crossed.

 

–          Followed my passion for cooking and writing : Awww this one can make me cry. My father wanted me to go into medicine but I had other plans, I wanted to cook, write and travel but ALAS ! I gave in, he sat down one day to make me realise the practicality of his decision and absurdity of mine and hence I opted for medicine as a career. I don’t exactly regret it but yes I am not content. But this one thankfully is still workable and hence me working on it and therefore this BLOG !!

 

–          Been Selfish : A pretty big part of my life was spent worrying for others and keeping their interests first than mine, but with time and thankfully to my hostel life I have learnt that being a little more than little selfish is good and healthy for me. At times I need to make decisions keeping myself as a priority, its good being helpful and friendly but a being all goody in this world does not solve all purposes. Still working on this one, still at times I get a bit sentimental and keep others needs first than mine, It’s a good world after all.

                                                                                                                                   

–          It takes only seconds to be courageous and take a stand : Ahh this one, this I am still working in. At times I take a lot of time making decisions wherein what needs to be done is take a single step ahead and I know all would turn out well but that one step seems like someone has put a rock on my foot. And most of the time things turn out just perfect after taking that one step but YES I take a lot of time taking it. Achieved only 10 percent success, still working on it.

 

–          Forgiveness and acceptance must have come easy : There are times in one’s life when we feel wrong has been done to us by our loved ones, we fret over it, feel sad, hurt and unforgiving. There were couple of instances in my life wherein I was hurt with the way I was treated or misled and I could never forgive those who did that to me. I kept that grudge for a long time than was required and I regret it today probably I should have accepted and forgiven many things. Life would have been much easier that way as it is very short to keep cribbing.

 

–          It is OK to change your mind : Hmmmm what can I say, the scorpion that I am to the core, I find it very hard to move away to my commitments many of which are taken in a snapsecond which I thoroughly regret later. But it’s against my demeanour to take my words back and not act on it. Most of the times being affected both mentally and monetarily but I never learn. This actum of mine needs to be dissolved very soon because I mostly blurt out impossible chores in the moment and regret terribly later.

–          Should have invested less in others and more on myself : I was always in the habit of maintaining relationships, it could be friendships, love affairs, or anything but I learnt the hard way that “I” came first and needed more time than investing it on others. I have crossed a lot of distance for this one and only a little needs to be done about it now.

 

–          Change is necessary and scary : We live our lives by rules, we live it in a preconceived pattern. Change always terrifies us but it’s mostly for the good. It takes time to accustom ourselves to the change but once we do Life is Good thereafter. This lesson was learnt early by me and I have achieved too much success but still no one is perfect and hence I am still working on this one.

–          Loosing friends is a part and parcel of living but keeping in touch is important: This one is sad, I wish I had not experienced it but no matter how much I abhor it I have experienced it nonetheless. We grow from going to school, college, work, get married, life gets busy and we lose a bit of ourselves and many friends in the process. But its great to catch up with them once in a while, go out for a coffee, a brunch, or take time out for chatting on social networking sites, But DO IT it will feel good. Sadly though I haven’t been able to accomplish this ever since I had a baby but I intend to. It’s totally workable !!

–          Learn more Languages : I was always very fond of doing this one. I loved it when people told me they could speak French, Japanese, German or any other but I could never do it. Hopefully I can do it now whenever I can manage this one on my schedule. Workable.

–          Backup my phone and computer : I am sooooo LAZY for this one, though I have improved a lot but still at times I get lazy and don’t do it and obviously regret it later. Very Very Workable

–          A lot can be done over weekends : Weekends always meant more sleep for me, but things have changed now. I realise now that a lot of pending works can be finished by being active on weekends and definitely it’s a perfect age to do it. I am vehemently working on this one and one day I would be able to do a lot of over weekends that I will be proud of.

–          Save Astutely: Obviously I mean money and trust me it needs to be saved for the bitter times because they just might be round the corner . So trust your instincts to save lucidly. I don’t say save all and don’t have fun but SAVE. I have started doing it but a little late. But as they say better late than never.

–          Never rush into decisions, DO your Research:  I love GOOGLE and the WEB for all the help they render, I type a word and they give me tonnes of options. It can be anything from planning the wedding, finding a holiday, a restaurant, planning a kid, giving birth, cooking, there are just so many options before you can decide and it helps so much to take a more informed decision and you are very sure you have made the right one. A way ahead in this one I never do anything major without GOOGLING it.

–          Take care of yourself : Well well well, this one is more tough than I thought it could be. After a tough day at work , coming back home and take of a child, I hardly get time to take care of myself. A massage, yoga, pedicure, manicure, exercise or grooming myself anything could soothe me but I am always tired to it. I really want to take time out for this one as I am sure once I have achieved this one a lot else in life would be easy.

–          Addiction to Technology : In this fast pacing world where technology decreases the distance it also increases stress. I am always online, always hooked to find out what the world is doing, what my friends are up to, where they are going, where I can find a cheap deal. So I am hooked 24*7, well not technically but yes most of the time. And its bad I can use that time much more wisely but I am addicted.. My dopamine I guess goes over the roof once I log in. This needs to change and surely it will. Totally WORKABLE !!

–          Be More Organised : This has taken me ages to do but now I am getting the hang of it and realised the significance of it. Having a baby changes a lot of things, and it definitely makes you more organised. I realised that a lot of time can be saved if we are organised. I know it can sound like I am preaching but it works wonders, Tried and Tested.

–          Gossip won’t have bothered me : I have crossed many bridges and travelled a lot of distance in this one. At first I used to be very bothered by gossips but then I read that “if they are gossiping about you, YOU MUST BE WORTH A LOT”. And hence people wasting their time in me. I learnt this lesson and imbibed it as a Mantra of my Life. And it works wonders, you are at of mind with yourself.

–          Life is as complicated as we make it : Life was much more simpler when we had lesser aspirations, lesser demands, lesser hopes and of course much less money.  As we grew our demands increased, availability and consumerism held us captive in their webs. It’s not easy to stay away but the more we make life the more easier it is. I know its hard to follow this one and for one I have not even started following this one but I want to. Inshallah VERY SOON !!

–          NO Replay whatsoever : Life does not come with a REPLAY button, it’s really now or never so its better to do it now. Life does not give you a second chance and god only opens the door of success for a little time so catch hold of it ASAP. WORKABLE WORKABLE !!

–          Never rush, Slow and steady wins the race : This one is my favourite because I indulge in it a lot and by a lot I mean a LOTTTT. I am very impulsive in my thinking and my actions, if I get excited I am all over the place, I am like a robot multitasking to get faster result and in the process end up breaking something or loosing something. I lose control over myself jus rush towards ending it. And yes I want to change it. I want to think and act, I am trying and have improved a lot but a lot still needs to be done.

–          Jot it DOWN PLEASE : Ok Yes GUILTY as proved, I am in the habit of thinking that I am a superwoman and don’t forget and can easily reminisce anything I have a look at. But sadly this is not the case. I see something, read something, look at something, like it but then I think “oh I will remember this for sure”, but as time would have it, I forget it for sure and regret it terribly later. I have post-its, diaries, journals and everything but nah I don’t jot it down. Need to get in the habit to lose on more things.

–          Building my VOCAB : Intended to do it for long and even start working on it but most of the time I fail to maintain. Probably I need to lookout for a more refine way to make it a habit but trust me still searching a cure for this one. Clueless about this one but OMG it’s so workable.

–          Complete what I read : I have this annoying habits of reading articles and at times lose interest midway. It is so disappointing to not be able to complete because this way I never get the essence of it. I trying hard on this one and one day for sure.

Well this roughly summarises the part of my life I want to change or work one, I am sure there may be many to add to this list but even if I can work on this list LIFE will be GOOD . And lastly to sum it all as Robert Frost would put it :

“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleepAnd miles to go before I sleep.”

 

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