I am sitting in a hotel room amid hills and greenery, secluded from the rest of the world. I have been here for two days now. There is absolutely nothing to do around here, and I mean nothing, there is not even a television in the rooms, which meant I devoted all my time lazing around gazing up at the mountains or reading and it has been wonderful!!
I am visiting to celebrate my birthday, this is the last of my twenties, it seems like a large chunk of my life is behind me now (I did not want to say its over!). Do I feel any different, lets just say NO!! I don’t know how to look at life from here on, obviously nothing changes, life would pretty much be the same but still I have a lingering thought at the back of my head of all the things that are still pending in my bucket list which needs to completed before another decade passes by!
Anyway this post is not for what my expectations the next decade of my life are, but on insights that I have made in these two days that I was alone, away from all the hustle bustle. I purposely removed my birthday notifications from all the social sites, somehow I just did not want people to know that its my birthday, perhaps I don’t like to attend to all the swarm of calls and messages that are sent your way when you have your bday posted everywhere, OR perhaps I just wanted to see who remembers my birthday!! And apparently not many remember it. This should make me sad, but it does not, I am somehow pass that stage in life where being wished, being remembered, being the centre of attraction (this is what being older does to you) made a difference to me. I was happy being alone, only a bunch of very close people including my family and some close friends remembered wished me. And strangely enough it felt relieving, more than anything it was relieving because I would not have to feel guilty when I forget their birthdays.
It has been a small little holiday with my husband and my little daughter in peace where we had a lot of family bonding time, I figured that it was the stress of everyday life, of managing home and work that makes me cranky and leads to arguments because here in these two days we had the time of our lives, we talked a lot, laughed a lot, played a lot, slept a lot, sang a lot, danced in our room, we did all the stuff families do as families and it felt nice. We sat basking in the sun for long hours, swimming and drinking. I realised that moments like these are important, these memories that we are making right now are what we will cherish in years to come.
All my birthdays earlier, included either partying with friends till the wee hours of the morning or having family dinners, but this time around I decided to celebrate the birthday with myself, the way I want it, and it felt nice. I feel happy and content. Not that I would not like to celebrate it with the family, happiness increases when shared but at times its good to enjoy certain moments of your life in solitude. We get only one life to live, so lets make the best of it, is what I believe in.
Cheers to another coming decade of fulfilment and accomplishments and a very very happy birthday to myself, it was indeed a happy one!!