I took a day off today to spend some time at home, I did all the things I loved doing (As much as I could with a toddler fiddling along), read a long pending book (Tried finishing it but could not Alas!), played with my little munchkin, tried teaching her new things (And she learns fast, touch wood), and ended up watching the idiot box when my honeybun took a nap and I loved it. I stumbled upon “P.S. I Love YOU”, must I say here that I am not a very big fan of the movie or the book. Somehow it never appealed to me much, I am all for romantic flicks but this one never touched a chord. And my friends were huge fans!! But today when I watched it, I was hooked to it like anything. Probably it was because I am terribly upset with my husband lately (over issues that feel extremely insane now), like Holly is with Gerry in the beginning, or perhaps because it made me realise that life is so precarious, we don’t know what is in our stock tomorrow.
Hmmm it cropped a lot of questions in my mind like, why are we so entangled in our everyday chores that we fail to take time out for our love, why does our ego come our way, why do we decide not to say sorry or bend forward or backward, why do we become so stubborn, why don’t we realise that probably love is all that matters, to stay happily. It brings such peace of mind, such completeness but still we try to go against it because things are not turning our way. Money, a perfect house, luxury, a perfect life, that becomes priority, and in the process of achieving all this we forget that it was love that brought us together, love that kept us together till now and not these materialistic comforts of life. But it is easier said than done, as much I decide to bury these whimsical thoughts in my head and let love only suffice, I fail. It does not come easy. But it also scares me to my soul to think at times the amount of time or even days I spent being angry with my husband, I am missing out on so much, wasting such precious time which could be spend loving and being loved, but it just does not happen.
Not having my husband around for any possible reason terrifies me, I love him, I love him to the core, he is my best friend, my companion, my soul mate, the bond that I share with him ever since we both were teenagers cannot be replaced by anything. He is a wonderful man, and I need to understand that time flies, it is never the same, it never comes back. These are such clichéd lines but so true. I need to start living in NOW, not worry about tomorrow; perhaps future will pave a much better path than I anticipate. But I am such a planner, I need to know what holds for me in the future, I cannot live without knowing what is coming ahead. And this idea occupies the better half of my brain most of the time. I don’t need to worry about my new house, my daughter’s education, her marriage, a better brighter future, all will be taken care of by my man and I am there to support him.
But Alas I am not very sure for how long I can cling on this thought or it will again pass as it always does once the impact of the movie fades. But I am reiterating whatever I decide each time I ponder after a fight, Living NOW is important, being loved is important, keeping away your differences and still loving is important, cherishing today is important, keeping no grudges is important. We can always make a better life if we are together, loving each other, but this time, this will not come back. We should be able to respect what god has given us, blessings of being loved by someone. It is one life that is given to us we should able to give it our best so that we don’t have any regrets later. Life is mad but coming out sane is all is needed. Let us not give life a chance to make us feel remorseful, let us be around the one we love and make him feel special NOW. Let us embrace our today so we can be happy and blissful tomorrow.
P.S. : I Love You