Men, Please Pitch In!!

I  was woken up with the most dreadful call any Indian woman can wake up to, my help called in to inform that she won’t be coming to work today. This is like the biggest night or rather biggest Day mare of any woman who is dependent on house help. As I wiped out tears from my eyes (yeah I am Amplifying!!, but nevertheless I was on the verge of crying, imaging the pile of work ahead of me), I got up. The first battle field I needed to conquer was the kitchen.

As I was paving my way through the umpteen tasks ahead of me, this thought just crossed my mind. My husband was snoring away to glory. And it irked me, I could not comprehend why he got to sleep while I was slogging here in the kitchen. And then thoughts kept pouring in, one after the other, perhaps he is tired from work, (Hello I work too in an office), perhaps he does not know how to do the household chores (Aahhha!!, I was born working in the kitchen, is it?), perhaps because he has much better things to do in life (Well this one I can scream loud about, I have much better things to do in life than he does), Ahhh now I realize it is not any of the reasons mentioned above, it is because he has a Chromosome ‘Y’ in him, that too in India. In simple words he is a MAN born in INDIA.

You must realize that this very thought had piqued my annoyance to uncontrollable levels, this could not be happening to me. You bring out this topic in public and trust you me, every elderly across India has the same opinion, ‘How can he do it, it’s a woman’s job’, Arghhhh. Like seriously, I was raised with the same amount of love and affection (probably even more). This is how we grow up in India, the other day a known had come over for a visit, she was looking for a suitable match for her daughter, she is a qualified doctor, and now her mother wants her to participate in household chores as this is what would make her an eligible bride. I could not help but gape at her in astonishment, why take so much pain to educate her then. Is it not unfair for the girl, she has to make a career for herself and learn to the household chores too. And the boy spends his life in merriment.

I mean I understand that there may be many things which men can do that we don’t (let me think, well na my brain has stopped functioning to enumerate anything, unless it is something like getting off your shirt in public, or perhaps pee in public) but a little help hurt no one, right! It’s easy coming back from work and couching on the sofa on the laptop or phone, but come back from work and fret about preparing dinner or tomorrow’s lunch, or getting the laundry done, or getting the clothes back into the cupboard, grocery shopping, blah blah blah blah….

It is so much the upbringing that we give our sons that is to blame for all this, they are always kept away from helping in the household chores. SO much so for being born a male in INDIA!!

My mother in law was really anti of my husband cleaning my daughter’s poop, I mean why not, she is his daughter too. I objected and made him do it.. There is no way he is getting away from it. When we say equality it should be at all levels right! I have fought my way to change my husband’s habits to make him participate, and I know what my MIL thinks then, ‘ Arre, you making my boy into a girl’. But lest do I care, he needs to and has to.

I don’t want to sound like those ultra feminist thingy (which I am sure I do sound like) but all I do care about is that men should learn how to do or at least help in household chores, mothers should be able inculcate this in their sons. I have a daughter and trust you me when she is getting married this would be one of the criteria for the groom to qualify! Someone would have to turn the tables, and I would be very happy to do so. I understand that it is unfair to paint everyone with the same brush but majority fall into the no home chores bucket!

There could be two reasons perhaps either they don’t see what needs to be done, they live in a different reality, mess does not bother them, they have not seen their forefathers doing any of this hence they cant imagine themselves doing it OR they don’t want to waste their time on what they think are petty issues. For example my husband thinks that if I give him a task, inadvertently I will complain about him not doing it properly then why should he waste time doing it in the first place (I really cant blame him for that, I can be very picky at times).

Well amid all this bragging and fretting I finished all the work and headed for office my husband was still snoring away to glory!!

Boys do have all the FUN!!

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4 thoughts on “Men, Please Pitch In!!

  1. kazz says:

    Comeon im doin my own work. . too biased . . because you have your husband not doing household chores . . 😝😝

  2. Don’t worry about sounding like an “ultra feminist thingy” — or about actually being one! 🙂 That’s what it takes. When men (or members of any group) think a certain kind of work is beneath them, they tend to think that the people who do it are beneath them too, and that the work isn’t important or isn’t difficult. Good luck with your husband, and your MIL.

  3. Did I tell you that I’m already in love with you! (:P with your words & thoughts). Glad that I found you here.
    And now, I have a question(actually a few). Please ignore them if you find them absurd, ridiculous or too personal to talk.
    1. Is your marriage arranged or is it a love marriage?
    Actually, all the other questions depend on this one. But any ways, I’ll fire away.
    2. Did you discuss about sharing household responsibilities with your husband before marriage?
    3. If you did, how did you approach the topic? Are you worried about his response and how he would think of you for talking like an actual feminist?
    4. How was his response? Did it go well with you? what was your reaction?
    And finally,
    5. In the current situation, what would be your husband’s response if you woke him up and ask him to help you in the kitchen and what would be his response if you told him that you expect him to do the same everyday.
    I must admit that this is a bit more than just being curious. I have all these questions in mind but not sure whom to ask. So here I am. Sorry for the questionnaire, but I really wanted to ask.

  4. Thanks for the like and love, much appreciated.
    And no problems with questions, always ready to talk on this topic:
    1. Is your marriage arranged or is it a love marriage? Alas! LOVE (My love was truly blind)
    Actually, all the other questions depend on this one. But any ways, I’ll fire away.
    2. Did you discuss about sharing household responsibilities with your husband before marriage? NO, biggest mistake, actually I married off very young another mistake :P.
    3. If you did, how did you approach the topic? Are you worried about his response and how he would think of you for talking like an actual feminist? Although I did not discuss it earlier, i know even if I did he would have said Sure no problems, he was a total romantic back then 😦
    4. How was his response? Did it go well with you? what was your reaction? N?A
    And finally,
    5. In the current situation, what would be your husband’s response if you woke him up and ask him to help you in the kitchen and what would be his response if you told him that you expect him to do the same everyday. Oh, his response would sure, and trust me he would get and do the assigned work too, and after i wrote this and also made him read it things have changed at my place you need to just be stern and not budge tell then you get tired too. They are not that insensitive as we think they are. My husband is sweet overall but over time he has started taking me granted.

    Hope this helps, and thanks for the follow!

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